Blog Entry

The McClesky Philosophy- Intro

Posted on: April 13, 2009 9:28 pm
 

At least once a week, I'm going to let everyone into my philosophy. It's a great idea for me because I feel that some people may have a better understanding of me, once they have an idea as to how I think. With that being said, here we go.

This week: SONGS WITH BIZARRE LYRICS AND THEMES

I like these songs, but not for the reasons you think.

Sure I could cite simple reasons like "Because I'm wierd" and "Because they're funny"; but that's not exactly the real reason. The real reason why I love bizarre lyrics is simply because I hate music lyrics in general.

I'd switched over to listening to intrumental jazz, techno and classical music a long time ago for a reason; I don't like beutifully orchestrated music being disrupted by some tone deaf musician screeching something about nothing.

I gave up on R&B lyrics because you can only hear the same lies, coming from the same men, so many times; "Baby I need you", "Baby, money doesn't matter", "Baby I would always be faithful" and my personal favorite, "I love you". Not to be out done, the women will talk down to a man like he was a dog that had just pooped on the carpret.

I gave up on Rock and Rap lyrics because I can't get myself to kill people. But at least I can give rap an edge over rock in one area; at least you can understand half of the lyrics; between the screaming and the growling, I don't know if I'm at a rock concert or at Michael Vick's dogfighting camp. However, that doesn't take rap off the hook; rap artists had taken notes from Jessie Jackson and decided to make up their own language. Why do you want me to do a "stanky leg"? What's wrong? Did a fail to make it to the bathroom on time?

I gave up on country lyrics out of fear; I was afraid that one night I'll be drunk, while listening to country music, then decide to take my own life. "Feed Jake, he was a good dog; my best friend, right through it all. If I die before I wake... Feed Jake".....   BLAM!!!

I gave up on POP lyrics out of fear that I may tie them (the pop stars) all up and throw them into the back of my trunk. Trust me, as skinny as all of them are, I should be able to have room left over for my golf clubs. First, I'll pick up a member of N'Sync and use him as a baseball bat to knock down the rest of them. Then, I'll weigh them all down using Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson. From there, I could use Paris Hilton as a string and tie them all up into one nice, neat ball. 

With all of this being said, all of those forms of music do share one thing in common; once in a while comes a song with lyrics and themes so bizarre, you can't help but to be either in shock, in awe or in laugher. It is those songs that I truly appreciate. Here's are some cases in oint.

-Sir Elton John was never shy about being gay; yet when you hear him sing the song,"Don't let your Sun go down on me"...

-In one of Nirvana songs, Kurt Corbain sanged, "No I don't have a gun; no I don't have a gun". That's not what the autopsy report said.

-You can summarize all of Michael Jackson's legal woes in "Billie Jean". "They say I am the one, but the child is not my son"

-Speaking of overstating the obvious, how can a country music singer (Garth Brooks) NOT have "friends in low places"?

-Listening to Rick James' "Super Freak", while reading the story of his imfamous trial, you couldn't help but to wonder... Was he talking about himself?

-Define irony. Patsy Cline's first #1 song "I fall to pieces" was released as a single two years before she died in a plane crash.

-You can tell that Cher has enough experience with men when she criticizes you in saying "I can feel something inside me that says, I really don't think you're strong enough"

- R. Kelly said,"I don't see nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind". Is that what you said to that 14 year old girl before you mistaken her for a urinal?

But perhaps the best bizarre song I'd ever heard, came from what initially appeared to be the most "innocent" sounding song of this generation. Ladies and gentlemen, fill your minds with visions of hardcore sex, while reading the lyrics to "Bubbly", by Colbie Calliat

 I've been awake for a while now
You've got me feelin' like a child now
'Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglees in a silly place

It starts in my toes
And I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

The rain is fallin' on my window pane
But we are hidin' in a safer place
Under the covers stayin' safe and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

They start in my toes
Make me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

What am I gonna say
When you make me feel this way?
I just, mmm

It starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

I've been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
'Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin' shows
'Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
Holdin' me tight

Wherever, wherever, where ever you go
Wherever, wherever, where ever you go

So if you find yourself like me, fed up with bad lyrics and bad singing, take heart in knowing that somewhere down the road, someone's going to write a song that will, in some way, freak you out. As long as I believe this to be true, there may be some hope left for the music industry, in terms of keeping my interest; assuming that Metallica don't sue me for listening to such songs for free.   

That's my point and I'm sticking to it.  

 

 

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